So I’ve lived for a couple years in an environment where I was a severe racial minority. This is where I formed my opinion that the US is one of the least racist countries in the world. The evidence of this is that we talk about it. It’s a big deal here. Places with serious issues with racism don’t talk about it. It’s so baked in it doesn’t even register on their radar. They aren’t ashamed of it, and they aren’t shamed for it either. It just is. This is why the whole anti-racist and micro-agression movement was silly to me from the jump. My sister recommended Khendi’s book to us all in the middle of George Floyd season, I got second hand embarrassment for her in the group chat. The implication of calling her family out for our subliminal racism was something else. I was even more embarrassed for her because I knew she wasn’t embarrassed.
Does anyone else see people taking pictures like that and just immediately identify them as self obsessed and probably a very boring person to talk to/be around? I get this impression even when I see people taking a lot of selfies in public. I don’t like taking pictures though so maybe that’s my own brand of crazy showing through.
To your second paragraph, I absolutely share your sentiments about those people; I have the same reaction myself. I’m sure it’s wrong in plenty of cases—some number of those people are perfectly nice, intelligent people, surely—but I can’t help having the instinctive reaction that’s something like, “Christ, how much more self-absorbed can you get?” I suspect most people over the age of, say, 32 or so (I dunno, my gf is 33 so I’m just making something up here lol) actually DO have the same reaction to those people, but what’s anyone going to do? It’s not obnoxious enough that most people are willing to voluntarily have a public confrontation with someone over it, and you’d need that to happen (quite a lot, for quite awhile) for this behavior to decrease, I would think.
I have all sorts of swirling, inchoate thoughts about your first paragraph, drawing on my childhood in Alabama, and especially my father’s younger years. He was 22 years old in 1965, living in Birmingham, AL, where he (and I) grew up, and the stories he’s told me are absolutely harrowing. I dunno, I should try and gather these thoughts into something coherent, maybe; as I said, they’re pretty unformed at the moment. I don’t think you’re wrong, but I think your analysis is missing something—I just don’t know what it is at the moment…
I will gladly note that certain portions of the US have more of an issue than others, and that in decades and centuries past it was a much, much larger issue than today. That knowledge doesn’t bother me as far as my statement is concerned, nor does the knowledge that there is in fact racism in this country. Multiple things can be and are true at once. My point is not that the US is a race relations utopia(far from it), more that we’re doing a lot better than I think we give ourselves credit for on a world wide scale. I’ve always found that perspective to be helpful in at least having a positive outlook on the future.
on nov 3rd ibram kendi said something retarded about american history. i quote-tweeted him and called him out on his stupidity. it was so elementary a mistake i laughed.
kendi responded and said "you know, that's a really good point."
1) i was shocked how nice and gracious he was. he's not a bad guy
2) his assertion was pretty dumb. i remember thinking it's something i might have said when i was 8 years old
Genuine, non-hostile, purely curious question: this recent thing where some people have started saying “retarded” again—is it just the way you would normally speak, or is to make a point? (There’s a lot of overlap between people who say “retarded” and people who are trying to bring back “gay” as we used to use it.)
Because I’m 35, and we definitely would talk like that growing up, but at some point people just sorta stopped saying it—I don’t remember ever being *forced* to stop saying it either, just seems like it kinda melted away—and it just hasn’t really occurred to me to start talking like that again.
It doesn’t offend me at all, but I do still find it jarring. So yeah, just wondering!
I used to use it all the time as a kid, mostly to refer to the stupid shit my younger siblings were up to, and I miss it because it was the most appropriate descriptor.
I'm excited it is coming back as they are still at it.
I'm all about bringing back the term retarded. I never stopped using it. Thought it was absurd to remove it from everyday parlance. "Retard" I'm more hesitant to use publicly, but it's perfectly fine to say among friends, and I imagine very few people ever use it nowadays in an attacking way against someone with developmental disabilities. Besides, we hardly ever use the term "retarded" in a clinical sense anymore anyway, so it's become just like "idiot." The word kind of watered itself down.
Jun 19·edited Jun 19Liked by Meghan Daum, Sarah Haider
Surprised to hear Meghan say "you'd be foolish not to" cynically exploit victimization-fetish culture, because if one advances their career at the expense of their inner self-worth, then it wouldn't be worth it. There'd be a nagging crater in one's soul. I suspect that's why people like Nikole Hannah-Jones seem so perpetually embittered and on-guard -- because that voice saying "you didn't earn this" has a giant hollow cavern to echo in.
And being prematurely fast-tracked, as Sarah points out, is precisely what leaves people like Kendi and Coates stranded at dead ends once they lose their flavor and the culture moves on. Coates is an interesting example because his writing was elegant but his ideas were simplistic in the extreme -- a chewable-aspirin take on race that made the headache go away but the effect doesn't last. I've always wondered if he knew he was being used...
Better to stick to one's guns over the long haul than become a cartoon that has to perform outrage and a Racism For Dummies routine. I don't think any amount of money and (false) prestige can compensate for having to live like that -- especially since these are people of ideas who want to be remembered for the ideas they contributed. It's like lip-syncing to a backing track. Hardly anyone would sign-up for that if they knew the score of the gate.
Clearly, the temptation gets to people, but I don't think anyone sets out >wanting< to make that kind of Faustian bargain.
The Instagram boyfriend thing was satirized quite well in "Triangle of Sadness." I think the plight is different for the partners of these influencer aspirants, but they definitely demand friends do photoshoots for them as well. I witnessed it at a music festival with someone in my group (someone's sister and her friend), I take a lot of photos, but these girls truly didn't seem to enjoy themselves at all and made a very big effort to pose for photos rather than experience the moment. It was my first time experiencing it within my circle rather than observing from afar, and it was jarring.
Sarah, you absolutely should write a self help book called Career Advice for Brown People. I imagine a lot of the advice would apply to white women too. Guaranteed best seller.
So however brief of a part of the episode that topic was, it sticks with me the most because I recently tried to explain this phenomenon on Twitter to someone who didn't believe there existed any women who were turned down for sex. I was, and he refused to believe it because his argument was that a single person saying you were fuckable debunked your experiences. Except those experiences were still real, and a Twitter random isn't going to change my experience of propositioning men and being turned down.
I'm definitely in the camp of wanting a relationship rather than casual sex at this time, but there was a long stretch of years when I wanted to experience the hookup life, and I did not succeed. It's possible that I was targeting men out of my league, but it's not like I had any (normal) guys approaching me that I turned down. I was operating under the very widespread principle that men, generally, will sleep with anything, so being rebuffed repeatedly was incredibly damaging to my self-esteem. I'm not angry that they turned me down, but it's just one of those collisions of reality vs belief that resulted in a more timid approach to men. It's frustrating to see this myth being perpetuated still when I have direct experience that this isn't reality, either.
I actually just recently saw a homeless man with a sign that said, "I NEED SEX seeking female..." so sure, any femcel could probably "get" sex from him. But it feels disingenuous to talk about how women can "get sex" whenever they want. It's a vulnerable position to be in, so of course you need to have *some* standards. It's more like saying, women can get penetrated whenever they want, no guarantee on their enjoyment or being turned on, which seems to go against the point of sex which, in my mind, should be mutually enjoyable and stimulating rather than a one-sided act, if that makes sense.
That makes total sense, thanks for stating it so clearly. The last part about needing standards in a way men don't seems kind of obvious once it's pointed out but I rarely hear that part of the argument.
Since I'm ineligible for the Unspeakeasy, I'll have to post here off-topic.
Meghan, please take a few minutes soon to give us your thoughts on Glenn Loury's conversation with his son. They are both unsparing about their complicated relationship.
I immediately thought of your recent essay in which you expressed doubts on writing about your late mother.
I kept saying to myself. " It seems Meghan would have appreciated having this kind of conversation before her mother passed away."
How much blame should we put on Boston University for this whole mess? I'm with Sarah, feeling more sympathy for Kendi, he seems like a not-super-brilliant guy who wrote a book, he was in the right place at the right time, all of which was supercharged in summer 2020.
Everyone was throwing $, hiring him for short speaking engagements, school district trainings etc for big $. Then Boston University opens the center, millions poor in. Does the University have some sort of responsibility here? Some oversight? Some obligation to make sure he has capability, and if not, the support to make this succeed?
I'm late to the game on this one, but do black women get a pass in the "long hair" discourse? Maybe I am displaying my ignorance, but African hair can't actually be worn long unless it's relaxed, right?
I was just trying to make an amusing rift on the short hair discourse. I'm an old guy and no one should be taking my advice on hair or anything else for that matter.
I find it very difficult to say anything critical about any woman. I can see where Sarah probably does not get a lot of corrections. It’s hard to even type out something that mildly disagrees with her. And she’s been arguing with people publicly online for years!
But taking that as a theme, I can still find fault with Kendi for not being willing to have any interaction with dissenters. That’s his choice, not some university’s.
It’s the same deal for all those men who get roped into doing dumb shit for their girlfriends. A little criticism would go a long way, but they can’t muster up a little criticism.
I totally understand your point of view here. I have the benefit of having 5 older sisters who beat that impulse out of me. As a result it’s never bothered me to tell a woman what I think in a professional setting, be it positive or negative. I won’t lie though, I’ve gotten some very surprised expressions when I don’t sugar coat myself. Honestly though it usually leads to very good relationships with the women I work with. There’s no barrier to saying how you interpret things or wasted time in getting things done trying to tip toe around each other.
I would agree there. Unfortunately it’s going to be a steep hill to climb to teach society to not care about a woman’s feelings. It’s not just that women are on the whole a little more emotionally inclined, it’s that society and particularly men perceive them to be even more emotionally sensitive than they are most times. There’s two sides to every coin, this is one of the sides of affirmative action style policies.
The same can be said for the silver spoon/trust fund kids. You’re working against a lot of people’s instinct towards self preservation/career advancement. Not an easy problem to be sure.
I don't claim it's anything other than a personal preference but I strongly prefer longer hair. I can count on about two fingers the times I've thought short hair looked better than long hair or even just appealing. But, like I said, I'm not making some wider claim other than it being personal preference. This gets into the issue about how much preference is driven by prejudice, and is it reasonable to expect people to be able to "do the work" and alter their preferences. I don't know for sure, I would guess maybe there's some movement that can be done but mostly we should let people have preferences. There are some icky conclusions but it could be worse. In the extreme cases it becomes obvious that we shouldn't call lesbians bigoted for not wanting to be with trans women.
I’m kind of with Sarah and Meghan on this. Short hair isn’t necessarily bad(to me), but she has to have a really pretty face to pull it off. The problem is that for every movie star that looks great with shorter hair, there are a lot of women who…..are not so fortunate. I find myself feeling the same way with fashion to the very limited extent that I notice it.
The blue hair/sjw correlation is undeniable at this point and certainly doesn’t help either haha.
Short hair is a disaster. I think Halle Berry looks strange in short hair. Definitely not an appealing look.
As men, we need some kind of signal to tell us what is and is not in the target zone. Particularly in an era where I did not wear glasses regularly, I literally recognized women by their hair. Having hair that looks like it might be a man's hair or a child's hair is a false flag. Not cool.
And then the short hair thing because very associated with lesbianism, and then all the queer nonbinary whatever whatever. I don't think it's some act of bigotry against Katie Herzog to say that most men are looking for a woman who is really obviously heterosexual.
But from a male perspective, hair loss is such a major part of life and it kicks in relatively early for most men. For people who actually have functioning hair follicles to not grow their hair out kind of seems like they're mocking us. Luxurious locks are a privilege. Why would anyone deny that?
FYI, many if not most women lose a ton of hair starting in their 40’s (early menopause) and it starts to look very mangy and dirty if you try to keep it long. We don’t lose it in a “pattern” that is so noticeable like men but all over severe thinning is common. Particularly if your hair is fine and straight, there just isn’t enough mousse and fluffing in the world to keep it long.
My hair is turning all gray from perimenopause, but the gray hair is kinky and thick.. so my hair is looking kind of thicker (yay) but crazy/unkempt (boo) no matter how much I brush it.
That makes me wish for some gray. Mine used to be very fine but thick so I could torture it into something. Now it’s fine and thinner and blech. It just lays there and mocks me no matter what I do to it 😂. It’s still long because I like to put it up but it’s about time to start chopping!
Sure, and hair loss is common with some autoimmune diseases as well. And cancer treatments.
The short hair is still aesthetically unappealing. What you're pointing out is simply that people who are older and less healthy are generally less sexually attractive than younger and healthier people, which makes sense.
It's racist because Sarah has clearly timed these releases to give her listeners in Pakistan the best chance to catch them live but apparently some Americans are still sitting around in the middle of the night checking their podcast feed.
So I’ve lived for a couple years in an environment where I was a severe racial minority. This is where I formed my opinion that the US is one of the least racist countries in the world. The evidence of this is that we talk about it. It’s a big deal here. Places with serious issues with racism don’t talk about it. It’s so baked in it doesn’t even register on their radar. They aren’t ashamed of it, and they aren’t shamed for it either. It just is. This is why the whole anti-racist and micro-agression movement was silly to me from the jump. My sister recommended Khendi’s book to us all in the middle of George Floyd season, I got second hand embarrassment for her in the group chat. The implication of calling her family out for our subliminal racism was something else. I was even more embarrassed for her because I knew she wasn’t embarrassed.
Does anyone else see people taking pictures like that and just immediately identify them as self obsessed and probably a very boring person to talk to/be around? I get this impression even when I see people taking a lot of selfies in public. I don’t like taking pictures though so maybe that’s my own brand of crazy showing through.
To your second paragraph, I absolutely share your sentiments about those people; I have the same reaction myself. I’m sure it’s wrong in plenty of cases—some number of those people are perfectly nice, intelligent people, surely—but I can’t help having the instinctive reaction that’s something like, “Christ, how much more self-absorbed can you get?” I suspect most people over the age of, say, 32 or so (I dunno, my gf is 33 so I’m just making something up here lol) actually DO have the same reaction to those people, but what’s anyone going to do? It’s not obnoxious enough that most people are willing to voluntarily have a public confrontation with someone over it, and you’d need that to happen (quite a lot, for quite awhile) for this behavior to decrease, I would think.
I have all sorts of swirling, inchoate thoughts about your first paragraph, drawing on my childhood in Alabama, and especially my father’s younger years. He was 22 years old in 1965, living in Birmingham, AL, where he (and I) grew up, and the stories he’s told me are absolutely harrowing. I dunno, I should try and gather these thoughts into something coherent, maybe; as I said, they’re pretty unformed at the moment. I don’t think you’re wrong, but I think your analysis is missing something—I just don’t know what it is at the moment…
I will gladly note that certain portions of the US have more of an issue than others, and that in decades and centuries past it was a much, much larger issue than today. That knowledge doesn’t bother me as far as my statement is concerned, nor does the knowledge that there is in fact racism in this country. Multiple things can be and are true at once. My point is not that the US is a race relations utopia(far from it), more that we’re doing a lot better than I think we give ourselves credit for on a world wide scale. I’ve always found that perspective to be helpful in at least having a positive outlook on the future.
on nov 3rd ibram kendi said something retarded about american history. i quote-tweeted him and called him out on his stupidity. it was so elementary a mistake i laughed.
kendi responded and said "you know, that's a really good point."
1) i was shocked how nice and gracious he was. he's not a bad guy
2) his assertion was pretty dumb. i remember thinking it's something i might have said when i was 8 years old
Genuine, non-hostile, purely curious question: this recent thing where some people have started saying “retarded” again—is it just the way you would normally speak, or is to make a point? (There’s a lot of overlap between people who say “retarded” and people who are trying to bring back “gay” as we used to use it.)
Because I’m 35, and we definitely would talk like that growing up, but at some point people just sorta stopped saying it—I don’t remember ever being *forced* to stop saying it either, just seems like it kinda melted away—and it just hasn’t really occurred to me to start talking like that again.
It doesn’t offend me at all, but I do still find it jarring. So yeah, just wondering!
I used to use it all the time as a kid, mostly to refer to the stupid shit my younger siblings were up to, and I miss it because it was the most appropriate descriptor.
I'm excited it is coming back as they are still at it.
I prefer to use the noun "fucktard" instead of "retard". I go back to the original modifer "retarded" but have not used "fucktared".
I'm all about bringing back the term retarded. I never stopped using it. Thought it was absurd to remove it from everyday parlance. "Retard" I'm more hesitant to use publicly, but it's perfectly fine to say among friends, and I imagine very few people ever use it nowadays in an attacking way against someone with developmental disabilities. Besides, we hardly ever use the term "retarded" in a clinical sense anymore anyway, so it's become just like "idiot." The word kind of watered itself down.
i use retarded IRL
i don't use gay as much because that seems much less precise
Surprised to hear Meghan say "you'd be foolish not to" cynically exploit victimization-fetish culture, because if one advances their career at the expense of their inner self-worth, then it wouldn't be worth it. There'd be a nagging crater in one's soul. I suspect that's why people like Nikole Hannah-Jones seem so perpetually embittered and on-guard -- because that voice saying "you didn't earn this" has a giant hollow cavern to echo in.
And being prematurely fast-tracked, as Sarah points out, is precisely what leaves people like Kendi and Coates stranded at dead ends once they lose their flavor and the culture moves on. Coates is an interesting example because his writing was elegant but his ideas were simplistic in the extreme -- a chewable-aspirin take on race that made the headache go away but the effect doesn't last. I've always wondered if he knew he was being used...
Better to stick to one's guns over the long haul than become a cartoon that has to perform outrage and a Racism For Dummies routine. I don't think any amount of money and (false) prestige can compensate for having to live like that -- especially since these are people of ideas who want to be remembered for the ideas they contributed. It's like lip-syncing to a backing track. Hardly anyone would sign-up for that if they knew the score of the gate.
Clearly, the temptation gets to people, but I don't think anyone sets out >wanting< to make that kind of Faustian bargain.
" . . . a chewable-aspirin take on race that made the headache go away." Brilliant!
*blushing* Why, thank you.
The Instagram boyfriend thing was satirized quite well in "Triangle of Sadness." I think the plight is different for the partners of these influencer aspirants, but they definitely demand friends do photoshoots for them as well. I witnessed it at a music festival with someone in my group (someone's sister and her friend), I take a lot of photos, but these girls truly didn't seem to enjoy themselves at all and made a very big effort to pose for photos rather than experience the moment. It was my first time experiencing it within my circle rather than observing from afar, and it was jarring.
Never heard of that movie, looks interesting, thanks
It's on Hulu FYI.
And if you like it, you might also like The Menu.
Sarah, you absolutely should write a self help book called Career Advice for Brown People. I imagine a lot of the advice would apply to white women too. Guaranteed best seller.
Super TMI on femceldom--
So however brief of a part of the episode that topic was, it sticks with me the most because I recently tried to explain this phenomenon on Twitter to someone who didn't believe there existed any women who were turned down for sex. I was, and he refused to believe it because his argument was that a single person saying you were fuckable debunked your experiences. Except those experiences were still real, and a Twitter random isn't going to change my experience of propositioning men and being turned down.
I'm definitely in the camp of wanting a relationship rather than casual sex at this time, but there was a long stretch of years when I wanted to experience the hookup life, and I did not succeed. It's possible that I was targeting men out of my league, but it's not like I had any (normal) guys approaching me that I turned down. I was operating under the very widespread principle that men, generally, will sleep with anything, so being rebuffed repeatedly was incredibly damaging to my self-esteem. I'm not angry that they turned me down, but it's just one of those collisions of reality vs belief that resulted in a more timid approach to men. It's frustrating to see this myth being perpetuated still when I have direct experience that this isn't reality, either.
I actually just recently saw a homeless man with a sign that said, "I NEED SEX seeking female..." so sure, any femcel could probably "get" sex from him. But it feels disingenuous to talk about how women can "get sex" whenever they want. It's a vulnerable position to be in, so of course you need to have *some* standards. It's more like saying, women can get penetrated whenever they want, no guarantee on their enjoyment or being turned on, which seems to go against the point of sex which, in my mind, should be mutually enjoyable and stimulating rather than a one-sided act, if that makes sense.
That makes total sense, thanks for stating it so clearly. The last part about needing standards in a way men don't seems kind of obvious once it's pointed out but I rarely hear that part of the argument.
I don't believe that Freya India is really her birth name, it's probably Deirdre Bloggs or Pam Snodgrass.
Since I'm ineligible for the Unspeakeasy, I'll have to post here off-topic.
Meghan, please take a few minutes soon to give us your thoughts on Glenn Loury's conversation with his son. They are both unsparing about their complicated relationship.
I immediately thought of your recent essay in which you expressed doubts on writing about your late mother.
I kept saying to myself. " It seems Meghan would have appreciated having this kind of conversation before her mother passed away."
How much blame should we put on Boston University for this whole mess? I'm with Sarah, feeling more sympathy for Kendi, he seems like a not-super-brilliant guy who wrote a book, he was in the right place at the right time, all of which was supercharged in summer 2020.
Everyone was throwing $, hiring him for short speaking engagements, school district trainings etc for big $. Then Boston University opens the center, millions poor in. Does the University have some sort of responsibility here? Some oversight? Some obligation to make sure he has capability, and if not, the support to make this succeed?
Nice conversation.
Short hair makes me think of Jean Seberg, not my mom.
I'm late to the game on this one, but do black women get a pass in the "long hair" discourse? Maybe I am displaying my ignorance, but African hair can't actually be worn long unless it's relaxed, right?
Sarah should try blond highlights
Why that specifically?
I was just trying to make an amusing rift on the short hair discourse. I'm an old guy and no one should be taking my advice on hair or anything else for that matter.
I enjoy listening to you and Meghan. Ian
I find it very difficult to say anything critical about any woman. I can see where Sarah probably does not get a lot of corrections. It’s hard to even type out something that mildly disagrees with her. And she’s been arguing with people publicly online for years!
But taking that as a theme, I can still find fault with Kendi for not being willing to have any interaction with dissenters. That’s his choice, not some university’s.
It’s the same deal for all those men who get roped into doing dumb shit for their girlfriends. A little criticism would go a long way, but they can’t muster up a little criticism.
I totally understand your point of view here. I have the benefit of having 5 older sisters who beat that impulse out of me. As a result it’s never bothered me to tell a woman what I think in a professional setting, be it positive or negative. I won’t lie though, I’ve gotten some very surprised expressions when I don’t sugar coat myself. Honestly though it usually leads to very good relationships with the women I work with. There’s no barrier to saying how you interpret things or wasted time in getting things done trying to tip toe around each other.
Which is good for you, I’d say, but doesn’t address the general problem of how people grow without experiencing anyone disagreeing with them.
Which to me is one of the great unaccounted externalities of women’s inclusion.
I would agree there. Unfortunately it’s going to be a steep hill to climb to teach society to not care about a woman’s feelings. It’s not just that women are on the whole a little more emotionally inclined, it’s that society and particularly men perceive them to be even more emotionally sensitive than they are most times. There’s two sides to every coin, this is one of the sides of affirmative action style policies.
The same can be said for the silver spoon/trust fund kids. You’re working against a lot of people’s instinct towards self preservation/career advancement. Not an easy problem to be sure.
I don't claim it's anything other than a personal preference but I strongly prefer longer hair. I can count on about two fingers the times I've thought short hair looked better than long hair or even just appealing. But, like I said, I'm not making some wider claim other than it being personal preference. This gets into the issue about how much preference is driven by prejudice, and is it reasonable to expect people to be able to "do the work" and alter their preferences. I don't know for sure, I would guess maybe there's some movement that can be done but mostly we should let people have preferences. There are some icky conclusions but it could be worse. In the extreme cases it becomes obvious that we shouldn't call lesbians bigoted for not wanting to be with trans women.
I’m kind of with Sarah and Meghan on this. Short hair isn’t necessarily bad(to me), but she has to have a really pretty face to pull it off. The problem is that for every movie star that looks great with shorter hair, there are a lot of women who…..are not so fortunate. I find myself feeling the same way with fashion to the very limited extent that I notice it.
The blue hair/sjw correlation is undeniable at this point and certainly doesn’t help either haha.
Short hair is a disaster. I think Halle Berry looks strange in short hair. Definitely not an appealing look.
As men, we need some kind of signal to tell us what is and is not in the target zone. Particularly in an era where I did not wear glasses regularly, I literally recognized women by their hair. Having hair that looks like it might be a man's hair or a child's hair is a false flag. Not cool.
And then the short hair thing because very associated with lesbianism, and then all the queer nonbinary whatever whatever. I don't think it's some act of bigotry against Katie Herzog to say that most men are looking for a woman who is really obviously heterosexual.
But from a male perspective, hair loss is such a major part of life and it kicks in relatively early for most men. For people who actually have functioning hair follicles to not grow their hair out kind of seems like they're mocking us. Luxurious locks are a privilege. Why would anyone deny that?
FYI, many if not most women lose a ton of hair starting in their 40’s (early menopause) and it starts to look very mangy and dirty if you try to keep it long. We don’t lose it in a “pattern” that is so noticeable like men but all over severe thinning is common. Particularly if your hair is fine and straight, there just isn’t enough mousse and fluffing in the world to keep it long.
Also, busy moms.
My hair is turning all gray from perimenopause, but the gray hair is kinky and thick.. so my hair is looking kind of thicker (yay) but crazy/unkempt (boo) no matter how much I brush it.
That makes me wish for some gray. Mine used to be very fine but thick so I could torture it into something. Now it’s fine and thinner and blech. It just lays there and mocks me no matter what I do to it 😂. It’s still long because I like to put it up but it’s about time to start chopping!
Sure, and hair loss is common with some autoimmune diseases as well. And cancer treatments.
The short hair is still aesthetically unappealing. What you're pointing out is simply that people who are older and less healthy are generally less sexually attractive than younger and healthier people, which makes sense.
First
that's racist!
It's racist because Sarah has clearly timed these releases to give her listeners in Pakistan the best chance to catch them live but apparently some Americans are still sitting around in the middle of the night checking their podcast feed.
I'm an Ashkenazi Jew, so yes, I'm obviously a genocidal racist.