So however brief of a part of the episode that topic was, it sticks with me the most because I recently tried to explain this phenomenon on Twitter to someone who didn't believe there existed any women who were turned down for sex. I was, and he refused to believe it because his argument was that a single person s…
So however brief of a part of the episode that topic was, it sticks with me the most because I recently tried to explain this phenomenon on Twitter to someone who didn't believe there existed any women who were turned down for sex. I was, and he refused to believe it because his argument was that a single person saying you were fuckable debunked your experiences. Except those experiences were still real, and a Twitter random isn't going to change my experience of propositioning men and being turned down.
I'm definitely in the camp of wanting a relationship rather than casual sex at this time, but there was a long stretch of years when I wanted to experience the hookup life, and I did not succeed. It's possible that I was targeting men out of my league, but it's not like I had any (normal) guys approaching me that I turned down. I was operating under the very widespread principle that men, generally, will sleep with anything, so being rebuffed repeatedly was incredibly damaging to my self-esteem. I'm not angry that they turned me down, but it's just one of those collisions of reality vs belief that resulted in a more timid approach to men. It's frustrating to see this myth being perpetuated still when I have direct experience that this isn't reality, either.
I actually just recently saw a homeless man with a sign that said, "I NEED SEX seeking female..." so sure, any femcel could probably "get" sex from him. But it feels disingenuous to talk about how women can "get sex" whenever they want. It's a vulnerable position to be in, so of course you need to have *some* standards. It's more like saying, women can get penetrated whenever they want, no guarantee on their enjoyment or being turned on, which seems to go against the point of sex which, in my mind, should be mutually enjoyable and stimulating rather than a one-sided act, if that makes sense.
That makes total sense, thanks for stating it so clearly. The last part about needing standards in a way men don't seems kind of obvious once it's pointed out but I rarely hear that part of the argument.
Super TMI on femceldom--
So however brief of a part of the episode that topic was, it sticks with me the most because I recently tried to explain this phenomenon on Twitter to someone who didn't believe there existed any women who were turned down for sex. I was, and he refused to believe it because his argument was that a single person saying you were fuckable debunked your experiences. Except those experiences were still real, and a Twitter random isn't going to change my experience of propositioning men and being turned down.
I'm definitely in the camp of wanting a relationship rather than casual sex at this time, but there was a long stretch of years when I wanted to experience the hookup life, and I did not succeed. It's possible that I was targeting men out of my league, but it's not like I had any (normal) guys approaching me that I turned down. I was operating under the very widespread principle that men, generally, will sleep with anything, so being rebuffed repeatedly was incredibly damaging to my self-esteem. I'm not angry that they turned me down, but it's just one of those collisions of reality vs belief that resulted in a more timid approach to men. It's frustrating to see this myth being perpetuated still when I have direct experience that this isn't reality, either.
I actually just recently saw a homeless man with a sign that said, "I NEED SEX seeking female..." so sure, any femcel could probably "get" sex from him. But it feels disingenuous to talk about how women can "get sex" whenever they want. It's a vulnerable position to be in, so of course you need to have *some* standards. It's more like saying, women can get penetrated whenever they want, no guarantee on their enjoyment or being turned on, which seems to go against the point of sex which, in my mind, should be mutually enjoyable and stimulating rather than a one-sided act, if that makes sense.
That makes total sense, thanks for stating it so clearly. The last part about needing standards in a way men don't seems kind of obvious once it's pointed out but I rarely hear that part of the argument.