You are so right about advice vs. support. A long time friend, who's 50 years old, just broke up with her boyfriend. She said, "I just can't stop criticizing him and it's all over tiny things. He talked with me about it several times then finally after a trip to San Diego, he broke up with me. I was telling him how cheap the hotel room was and the view sucked etc..." Then she asked me, "You're a man, what should I do". I said, "You're going to have to find out why you have this urge and stop it. That's the only way. Otherwise this will keep happening. No one wants to be criticized daily. If you truly can't stop, seek the help of a therapist". Then she went into how easy men have it in relationships... I said, "Well here's a perfect example, I have the non-stop urge to get sexual with the majority of the women I see" (my wife sitting right next to me 😬) "BUT, I don't act on it. It's like your urge to criticize. It may always be there but you put it in a box that can't be used (I call mine my Spank Bank 😂 no, I didn't say that)." Well, that's the last time she ever spoke to me or came over to the house. My wife and her speak on the phone but she's done with me. In retrospect, I should've said, "Oh, that guy's a loser. Any real man can take criticism and let it roll off his back. You're lucky to be rid of him."
You are so right about advice vs. support. A long time friend, who's 50 years old, just broke up with her boyfriend. She said, "I just can't stop criticizing him and it's all over tiny things. He talked with me about it several times then finally after a trip to San Diego, he broke up with me. I was telling him how cheap the hotel room was and the view sucked etc..." Then she asked me, "You're a man, what should I do". I said, "You're going to have to find out why you have this urge and stop it. That's the only way. Otherwise this will keep happening. No one wants to be criticized daily. If you truly can't stop, seek the help of a therapist". Then she went into how easy men have it in relationships... I said, "Well here's a perfect example, I have the non-stop urge to get sexual with the majority of the women I see" (my wife sitting right next to me 😬) "BUT, I don't act on it. It's like your urge to criticize. It may always be there but you put it in a box that can't be used (I call mine my Spank Bank 😂 no, I didn't say that)." Well, that's the last time she ever spoke to me or came over to the house. My wife and her speak on the phone but she's done with me. In retrospect, I should've said, "Oh, that guy's a loser. Any real man can take criticism and let it roll off his back. You're lucky to be rid of him."
Sarah got a nice shout out from Sami Shah on Josh Szeps latest podcast.